Praise The Lord!!

Todays doctor visit went GREAT!!

I was SO nervous and excited all at the same time.

Dr. Batres walked in, did his little greeting and said "let's see what we have".

My heart was racing as he began the ultrasound and he quickly

said "Do you believe in miracles"? I quickly said back "Yes I do"!

So without further a do...... meet our miracle baby!

The heart was beating at 115 bpm!

Here you see the yolk sac inside. He said it was a little big but still normal with nothing to worry out.

We go back to the doctor January 6th (which is our 3rd Anniversary).

I am still feeling great! I have sore breast and very bloated but all is well!

Here's the whole story:

I took 5 days of Femara and 13 days of Bravelle injections.

I was monitored by ultrasound every other day starting on CD 11. After realizing that my eggs were not responding to the injections like they should and my estrogen level coming back low, (Tuesday Dec. 1) Dr. M called and cancelled our cycle and called Provera in for me to start my next cycle. I came home SO upset and angry. I had so many questions and emotions that night. How could this be happening? WHY? ect...

So after much discussion with Mike that night, I decided that I wasn't satisfied and I wanted to meet with Dr. B (our original Dr. who we never got to see this cycle due to the way it fell) . We met with him that Thursday. After a quick ultrasound with him, he quickly said "I have reason to believe you ovulated prematurely". So he checked my progesterone level and sure enough it was high... I HAD OVULATED and THERE STILL WAS HOPE!!

Now that was just a miracle in itself!

So now we were to wait 7-10 days to test since we really didn't know when I ovulated because I didn't do a trigger shot this time like usual.

I could of test on Friday, Dec. 11 but I thought it would be best to do it on the weekend when I was home. Well Saturday came and I was in LR shopping and picking up my SIL from the airport so needless to say I didn't test that day either. HA... So you think I might have been putting it off a little? HA

AH SUNDAY.... After a lovely Christmas party we came home and while Mike was napping I was testing! The result was immediate and I COULDN'T believe my eyes!!

I ran and woke Mike up and he couldn't believe his eyes either!!

We got pregnant the old fashion way... no artificial insemination or IVF!!!

WOO HOO

THE BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD!

Now we continue to pray for a healthy pregnancy, healthy baby and PRAISE God for this MIRACLE!!

A Christmas MIRACLE!

Merry Christmas!!!

WE ARE PREGNANT!!!!

(We were going to wait and announce but we just couldn't!!)

Mike and I are EXCITED to announce that we are expecting a miracle baby in August 2010!!!

We found out Sunday Dec. 13 at home. Monday morning we went straight to LR to have it confirmed. Our first beta Monday was 1568!!! We had it rechecked Wednesday and it was 3124!!! So we are definitely pregnant!!

I can't stop smiling!!

We are so thankful to God for this miracle, and the answer to our prayers.

We are so thankful for the prayers of others who have lifted us up during our struggle.

We are in total shock still and are SO excited about our journey into parenthood.

"For this child I have prayed, and the Lord has granted the desires of my heart" Samuel 1:27

Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus!

As of right now baby Wilkins is due to arrive August 20, 2010!

Today I am 5 weeks and 4 days pregnant.

We go Monday Dec. 28th for an ultrasound! Please say a HUGE prayer that all is well and that we see a heartbeat then... I will be 6 weeks and 3 days by then!

After Monday I will hopefully be able to rest better knowing that everything is okay.

So far I feel great!

We are just trusting in Lord as we sit and wait for Monday's wonderful news!

I will post the whole story after Monday!

Hope you all have a VERY Merry Christmas!!

For us this is by far the BEST Christmas EVER!!

Grow, Grow, Grow

Today is day 10 of the dreadful Bravelle injections.

My belly is sore and I am just plain tired... BUT... I must continue to move forward and trust and believe that this WILL all be worth it!

Friday's ultrasound reviled that the lower dose wasn't working for us. We were told to increase to a full vial each day and were seen again this past Sunday.

No such luck on Sunday either.... what was thought to be my lead follicle is now "petering out" as Dr. Miller called it and he thinks it is cystic. I did have a few follicles that were 10mm, so we did a few more days of the Bravelle in HIGH hopes of GROWTH!

He said if they can get to 15mm then we can trigger and follow with IUI 36hrs. later!

PRAYING HARD that we can!

I will be devastated if we have to cancel this cycle.

Here I am on Friday. Ready to receive good news!

I know you may think we are crazy for taking pictures in the exam room.

But they leave us NO choice when you sit there for 45 minutes with nothing but an ultrasound machine and speculums.!! HA

Our next appt. is tomorrow (Tuesday) morning.

Have a great week ya'll!

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas!

And NO I haven't forgotten about Thanksgiving!HA

Here's a glimpse of what it looks like around the Wilkins' house these days!

I'm LOVING every minute of it!

I could do without some of the glitter...

I have vacuumed a THOUSAND times trying to suck it all up!

I love using deco mesh. It's so fun!

Yes, I already have a gift wrapped and under the tree! WOO HOO

I love laying on the couch at night drinking hot cocoa and eating peppermint bark!

This is what is sitting on the sofa table.

I put it together using the extra sparkle twigs I had left!

Christmas is in the kitchen too! HA

This is the breakfast nook.

The mantel has a few touches but for me it's ALL about the tree! HA

I added my Christmas accent plates to the china cabinet along with a few christmas ornaments for a special touch.

I am SO THANKFUL to have a wonderful family and special friends to share the holidays with. Thankful to have a comfortable home that I can come home to. Thankful to have a wonderful job that is so rewarding!

I feel very blessed.

Trusting & Believing

We know there are many of you out there praying for us and wondering how things are going.

We just want to say:

"THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU for TRULY caring!"

There is not a day that goes by that someone doesn't call, text, email or stop me and ask how things are going or to tell me that they are thinking or praying for us.

So here's last cycles details:

I took 2 pills of Femara CD 3-7. CD 8 went in for an ultrasound and had 5, yes you read that right 5 eggs!! They ranged from 14mm-10mm. He had me do 2 Bravelle injections to help them mature CD 8 & 9. I went back in on CD 10 for a check.

They had grown with only 1 not being a mature size.

So I responded REALLY well to the medicine!

Now your thinking oh that's wonderful. Well... Yes and No.

Dr. Miller gave us 2 options:

1.) We either had to reduce 2 of the smallest eggs due to health risks because this chick can't carry 5 babies! Although I would love to think I could, with my size it is TOTALLY out of the question.

Followed by artificial insemination

OR

2.) Cancel the cycle because he didn't want to risk it.

After much discussion, option 1 was it. Now the egg reduction is like an egg retrieval. We were not really for this procedure but after our discussion, we decided that would allow us to continue with this cycle since we had a already paid for and taken the medicines to get this far.

So on CD 12 we went in and had an egg retrieval followed by artificial insemination. Everything went well with the procedures and the rest of the day was spent on the couch resting. Mike was on full maid service! HA

The two week wait was the HARDEST! One minute you think you are and your hopeful and the next minute your not!

You can thank the HCG trigger shot and hormones for that!

This past Friday we found out that the cycle failed. Our hopes were SO high with this one because I had responded so well and everything was looking positive.

BUT

God has a bigger and better plan for us!

So here we are....

Our doctors appt. today got our plans and meds. going for this coming cycle.

I will still do the Famara pills but the the dose of Bravelle injections will be halfed in hopes of no more than 3 eggs maturing!

Please say a BIG prayer that this cycle works and that this is His perfect timing!

I MUST trust Him completely with every part of me—even the parts that He has yet to create.

Tis The Season!

Sometimes we just need a little cheering up.... and boy does Christmas not do just that!

So with that said......

The Christmas tree and decorations will be making their debut this week!

Tis the season to be jolly! Fa la la la la la la

Aren't these trees fun? They would be so easy to make!

I love lime green and red together!

Our tree was done in this last year and will be this year too!

Love these stockings! Cute Cute!

Be on the look out for the finished product!

Pumpkin Pumpkin What Do You See?

I see a little boy digging in me!!

I call this picture "Jack-O-Lantern Jeremy"since he is a snaggle tooth these days!

Thanks to Uncle Mike our Jack-O-Lanterns had faces!

We were very tired after all that but had a BLAST!

Halloween 2009

Quack Quack!

Oh the joys of being married to a hunter!

This is what I get to hear until January! HA

He practices til duck season and doesn't quit until it's over.

(Mute my ipod down below!)

They are SOOO loud and they echo throughout our house! I usually boot him out to the garage when he starts in...... I'm sure our neighbors love that! HA

So I suppose he's given up on calling the Hogs and now he's calling in the ducks!

Hope ya'll have a SAFE Halloween!

Wonderful Weekend

After our appointment yesterday, that went GREAT by the way!!

We had to make our usual stop at Target. I bought a few cute tops and

Mike.... well he bought a LOT of candy!

He assures me that this will ALL make it into the precious hands of little

trick-or-treaters and NOT into his tummy!

Hmmm.. we'll see how that goes! HA

As we pulled into the house later that day, I noticed my little bush had turned

a beautiful shade of red. It amazes me how it can change color over night!

Mike and I would like to ask you all to please pray for us this week!

We have a few more doctor appointments and are hoping and praying that they all go wonderful and are filled with great news!

Have a great week!

We Have a Delivery

Okay so....It's Probably not the most exciting delivery to some of ya'll but it is to me!

The meds have arrived!!

We are gearing up for what we HOPE and PRAY will be the last time enduring all of this.

I don't totally enjoy having my husband inject crazy hormones into my tummy but the end result is what gets us through!

Today is day 5 on Femara. I think I am having a few more side effects this time (headache, moodiness, etc.), but if it gives me a good, healthy follicle, then who cares!

We go tomorrow for cd 8 ultrasound and praying hard for a good response to the meds. I should start the injections Saturday evening if all goes well!

On another note.... I have discovered Yarnell's Pumpkin Pie Ice cream!!!

I am a BIG fan of pumpkin pie, so I couldn't pass this up.

It is SO yummy and has bits of crust mixed in!

You should give it a try!

Hope ya'll have a great weekend!

GO HOGS!!

Next Month, Maybe?

Here we go again... You haven't heard much from me for the past month about all of this. I just haven't been in the mood to talk about infertility stuff. I honestly hoped that the next time I discussed this with you it would be about what worked for us and we would be announcing some wonderful news, but that isn't the case. However I continue to believe that we are getting closer and closer as each month passes. So here is the recap of this past cycle.

We used Letrozole cycle days 3-7 and Bravelle injections cycle days 14-18.

I responded somewhat well to Letrozole. I began using Bravelle injections because my follicles weren't maturing like they should. At my last follicle check they hadn't grown. So this cycle was a lose. He started me on Provera and told me to continue Estradiol to get us started on the next cycle. Then I will double my dose of Letrozole cycle days 3-7 and will begin Bravelle injections earlier in the cycle and see what happens.

So heres to another cycle of these lovely meds!

This will ALL be worth it in the end, when we are holding our bundle of joy in our arms!

Hope ya'll have a great week! It is suppose to rain most of the week here! YUCK

Happy Birthday!

Time to blow out the candles!! That's right, today was my birthday! WOO HOO

I had a good day despite the fact that Mike and I had to be in LR at the crack of dawn for my doctors appointment. Before we hit the road we stopped at Daylight Donuts for some breakfast. A friend of ours owns the one here... so we visit frequently! He had a box set aside with my favorite "Pumpkin Spice" donuts, donut holes and a note !! What a great way to start the day off... right!

I had already eaten the donut holes before I remembered I hadn't taken pictures! HA

I tried to relax and enjoy my day!

I am SO blessed to have all my family living around me. We ate dinner tonight with the family at Savannah's. I had the grilled Salmon and finished the meal with yummy chocolate cake!

I got lots of cute gifts! Here is a picture of Mike, Jax and I. Jax did a great job helping Aunt Whitney or as he calls me "Aunt We We" open gifts! By the way we are working on the name! HA.. I'm not thrilled about "Aunt We We" but it's too funny to hear it come out of his sweet little mouth.

My Mom got me this beautiful Christmas serving dish! It has the bible verse "She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, his name was Jesus". I have had my eye on it since Millyn's put Christmas out but just never would buy it for myself....

I LOVE IT!

Okay, so I have to share this with ya! Mike's Aunt Laura bought some lottery tickets and gave them to me in a card. Now if you know me at all, you know that this chick does not like to gamble!!! HA.. I just have a hard time risking it, especially if it's slot machines. I would totally be okay if I put money in and a pair of shoes shot out!

But since this was a gift I felt like I could this time... since she bought them and I didn't! So I had my nephews kiss em' for good luck and began scratching away.

Hold onto your seats ladies and gentlemen.... I WON......... $1.00!! HA

The rest of my week and weekend is going to be crazy. Please say a little prayer for Mike and I. We go back to the doctor on Friday.

Hope ya'll have a great weekend!

I'm Lovin It

I'm lovin it..... and no I'm not talking about McDonald's! HA

A Tuesday Morning store just opened in our town! WOO HOO

After I got back in town today from my doctors appt.,I stopped by to check it out!!

I found some cute stuff today but sometimes it's a hit or miss.

I just LOVE these towels! They have this set on sale right now along with the shower curtain. I have been wanting to redo our spare bathroom... so this is an option.

Animal print is SO in right now and is SO much FUN!

I think I might go back and get it. Just haven't made up my mind yet.

Well ya'll have a good weekend!

GO HOGS!

Nothing Fancy

So I have been meaning to post some pictures of my fall decor... it's really nothing fancy!

My house is practically decorated for fall year round since my colors are fallish.

Here's Mr. Jack-o-lantern hanging out on the front porch!

I have these cute little things on my mantle... they are from Southern Living and are filled with mini orange foam balls!

I have a hint of fall above my entertainment center.

My favorite thing is my Jack-o-lantern jar that's filled with an oh so YUMMY mix of candy corn and peanuts.... it's a seasonal favorite of mine!!! Oh and I can't forget to mention my pumpkin pie Yankee candle.

Well that's what Fall looks like around my house!

I love to look at everyones decor just to get new ideas and such.

So lets see what your house looks like!

I bet it's fabulous!

Is September over yet?

REALLY... Please wake me up when it's over!

This month has been the most off key month for me. I just haven't felt like myself. The weird thing is I haven't been on any meds up until this week! You would think that I would feel better without them rather than with them!

Goodbye Clomid, hello Letrozole!

I started taking Femara a.k.a Letrozole this past Wednesday.

So far so good though with the new medicine.

We are just hoping and praying that good things come from it!

I have high hopes that October will be a FABULOUS month!

I have never had a bad October... well part of that might be because my birthday is in October! But still.. it's going to be great!

We have had a lazy weekend so far. Mike spent the morning in the woods working on deer stands and all the things that go along with hunting! I stayed home and made chicken 'n dumplings and waited for 2:3o to roll around so we could call the HOGS and watch the Razorbacks play Bama. Unfortunately we lost.

We plan on hearing an awesome sermon at church in the morning followed by a yummy lunch of leftovers.

(I always think chicken 'n dumplings are better the second day.)

I'm sure I'll make my usual Sunday trip to my classroom to prepare for my little darlings!

Ya'll have a great Sunday!

Finally Fall

Happy Fall Ya'll!!!

I love Fall for many reasons.... but to sum it up it just puts me in a GOOD mood!

My life has been ever so busy and I don't foresee it slowing down anytime soon. I have been a busy bee teaching my "Apple Unit" this week in my classroom. I just LOVE how the kids get so excited. You can do so much with the kids using apples. Tomorrow I am making homemade applesauce in my room. They are SO excited about this small event. I do have to say though that if I have heard"Well I don't like applesauce" 1 time, I have heard it a million!

How does a child NOT like applesauce???

I hope ya'll have a great rest of the week!

Long Time No See

Clearly blogging has not been a priority of mine lately.

I have been trying to keep myself as busy as humanly possible.

Now that the weekend is here, I think I am going to clear my plate and RELAX!!

I'm going to do something I love... decorate for FALL!! To some thats a chore but to me it's exciting and puts me in a fantastic mood!

Although I have plenty of fall decorations... I'm sure I'll make a trip to Hobby Lobby before it's all said and done.

After I'm done putting on the final touches, I will post some pictures for ya'll.

We will be rooting on the HOGS this weekend as well!

WOO PIG SOOIE!!

I thought I might share with you a picture from one of my first Razorback games.

Gosh we look SO young and Mike is probably 20lbs lighter in this picture. HA!

Hope ya'll have a great 3 day weekend!

So Far... So Good

I hope I am not speaking too soon!

So far I have had no problems with any of my students!!

WOO HOO

I have some sweet students... Although I think in the near future some of them might start testing the waters.. so far all is good!

I have been SO exhausted the past few days. It is difficult to get back in the swing of things.

The couch has been calling my name after school these days! HA

Right now I think I am in survival mode but I feel that each day things get a little easier!

I love my husbands comment to all of my tiredness... "Well hunny, I don't know why your tired... all you do is color all day!".... HAHA

Let me tell you. If he came and worked with me just ONE day... he would be praising me and saying "I don't know how you do it"!

I love my job! It is SO rewarding and wouldn't want to be anywhere else!

I'm still Here

Okay... So obviously I haven't blogged lately. Shame on me.... I am still alive but just haven't had much to say. I have had so many thoughts and feelings but decided to leave all of it between Mike and I instead of venting and sharing my thoughts with you all.... don't get me wrong I love ya'll but I needed my husband.

As you all know last week was the worst week ever... BUT.... I am still determined... maybe MORE determined than ever!!

This past week has had it's ups and downs. When I thought I couldn't cry another tear or thought I was doing better... it would start all over again. I am taking it one day at a time and though I may look happy on the outside, I am still hurting on the inside.

We are still in need of your thoughts and prayers.

So your probably wondering... "what's our next step"?

Well, Yesterday we had an appt. to check my HCG level and to speak with our doctor. Since my level has gone down to 3.9, we can start trying again. THANK YOU LORD!!!! We go back Saturday morning for an ultrasound to check for a maturing follicle. Here's where I need your prayers... Please pray that I am ovulating this month so we can continue on with this cycle.

On another note.... SCHOOL BEGINS TOMORROW!!! I am still in shock that it is here already.

Where.... oh....where did summer go?

I had a great turn out at Open House tonight. I've got me some cutie pies too! I am praying for a FABULOUS year and wishing all of you teachers out there the best of luck!

Thank you again for following our blog and praying for us during this trying time.

The Good...The Bad...and The Ugly

Mike and I are in need of your thoughts and prayers, please!

Our hearts are hurting more than ever right now.

A week ago Friday our doctor had us take a home pregnancy test. We did and I shared with you all that the test was negative. I stopped the Prometrium as directed and waited to start. The following Thursday I had not started and called the doctor. They had us come in for a blood test to see what was going on. That afternoon we received the most exciting news....

we were pregnant!

My HCG level was 337 and she said it should be around 50.

Our prayers were finally answered.

She scheduled us to come in this morning for another HCG test just to make sure that my levels were rising and for an ultrasound. The ultrasound showed nothing going on in my ovaries and my uterus had a very small black shadow, which he said could be the sack.

The nurse called around 1:30 with the lab results.

Keep in mind that I started professional development today.

So I jumped up from my seat and ran to my room to answer the call. She said with a not so happy voice that my HCG level had dropped to 44 and it should have been around 1200.

I LOST IT! We had a chemical pregnancy.

I immediately called Mike with the news. He came to the school and got me because I just couldn't face going back into a room full of teachers with the news I just received. A good teacher friend of mine came in to check on me while I waited on Mike and we just sat and cried. I had her share the news with everyone after Mike and I left. The teachers ended up having a prayer for us. I work with an AMAZING group of teachers.

I so badly wish I was sharing better news right now.

On the positive side of things... at least we know that we CAN get pregnant! It is just SO upsetting and disappointing how this happened. I am trying SO hard to be positive about things. Quiet frankly I am an emotional mess right now. I have cried so much and then when I think I am done it starts all over again. I wasn't going to blog until later but I think it's best just to announce it now and get it out of the way.

God is still oh so good.

Praise be to God!!

We will let you know very soon why we think God is SO good!

Trying to Smile

We found out this morning that this month didn't work and our hearts were broken once again. On to more doctors appointments next week and plan B.

I am going to leave you with part of the song "Smile" and a prayer I say often.

Smile though your heart is aching

Smile even though it’s breaking

When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by

If you smile through your fear and sorrow

Smile and maybe tomorrow

You’ll see the sun come shining through for you if you just smile.

"God, please help me overcome what I can't control. Please give me and my husband the pleasure of becoming parents. Please bless my womb and control the destiny you have already written for me. Please allow us the chance to teach a new child your ways and to be able to overcome this obstacle you chose us to have. Thank you for each and every day you give to us and each and every day that we have each other. I want to rejoice in one of your greatest gifts. You have already blessed me with so much, including your love and my husband. In your name I pray and plead again for your greatest love and kindness to bless me with a child. Amen."

Once again thank you all for your prayers and positive comments.

We have not lost hope or faith and will continue to wait on him.

Show Us Your Dress

I am SO excited to say....I'm joining Kelly at Kelly's Korner for "Show Us Your Life-Wedding Dress edition"!!

We got married at The First United Methodist Church on January 6th, 2007. Okay so your thinking wow a winter wedding... well we live in Arkansas and the weather is not always what you think it's going to be. On this day it was SUNNY and 70 degrees outside!!! We could not have asked for a prettier day. That in which made for an even happier bride!!

My dress came from the ever so famous

"Low's Bridal" in Eastern Arkansas.

My Mom and most of my bridesmaids went with me to

make the BIG decision!

I had a diamond white strapless dress with lots of beading.

It fit like a glove!

Mike and I during prayer.

We snuck away from our reception to get some pictures on the golf course. Notice Mike doesn't have his jacket on because it was a little warmer than normal in January.

It was NOT easy to pick from 1210 pictures!! Yes you read that right... our photographer was amazing and took lots of pictures to document our special day.

We will never forget this day in our lives and are blessed with the family and friends that were there to share it with us.

Nothing much

So there really hasn't been much to blog about lately.

We are curtainly in the 2 week wait. I have been trying to keep myself as busy as possible.

I spent several hours in my classroom today trying to get things back in order. I feel like it was a very productive day. I love to rearrange and change things up.

The first day of school will be here before you know it!

On another note... I have a prayer request. Some friends of ours Stuart & Sarah have been struggling with infertility issues and are in need of some prayers. They have been through so much and are hurting right now. Please pray that they find peace and that they don't lose faith or hope. God has a plan!

Luvin' Life

Yesterday Mike and I spent the whole day in Little Rock at the doctors office. It was ALL worth the wait though because we got FABULOUS news in the end! All of my labs thus far have come back normal and my HSG test went well. I'm not going to lie.... it hurt and I was very uncomfortable for a little while but all I was thinking about was the end result! Our prayer was answered though... NO blockage! Mike got to go back with me and hold my hand through it. He's such a sweetie! I don't think I could do any of this without him. He has been to every doctors appointment and is so supportive.

Does your hubby have a hobby?

Mine does!! In the fall it's hunting, in the spring it's bass fishing, and in the summer it's canoeing and golfing. Since water and I don't get along... Mike has been begging me to play golf. He really wanted me to go out and play but I had absolutely no idea how. After some pressure, I gave in and agreed to take some golf lessons. I took my first one today and LOVED it!

He is on cloud 9 right now. HA!

Ms. Jane said I did really well for a newby! WOO HOO

Mike better watch out... HA!

We caught the sun setting on our way home from golf lessons.

It was absolutely beautiful!